The main idea for this blog is to help promote good food and the places we’ve had it.  I’ve never intended it to be a real critic site, because really, I’m a lover not a hater.  But there comes a time when your experience at a restaurant is so @@*#&$@( awful, you can’t shut up about it.  As a victim of such an experience, here is my story:

My husband and I have always wanted to try Devour Downtown.  Although we’ve always been a bit skeptical because the menu from each restaurant is always skimpy and features stuff we’d never order, this year we decided to loosen our panties and went “eh why not?”  We, along with some friends, decided on 14 West for the evening.  Little did we know, our hopes for a new culinary adventure would backfire like an episode of Sandra Lee’s Semi-Homemade.

Don't eat here.

Usually when you enter a “nice” restaurant, the hostess/host are welcoming and dressed like they’re working at the perfume counter for Nordstrom’s.  Apparently this doesn’t apply at 14 West.  Upon entering the elegant solid wood doors, we suddenly found ourselves in a strip joint.

The two hoochie-mamas hostesses at the front desk gestured us towards the desk while leaning forward in their sequined 2-inch long skirts and ferociously chomped on their Juicy Fruits like nobody’s business.  (Imagine an Alicia Silverstone from Clueless, but picture two of them more naked and without the cute personality).  It took a lot from me to prevent myself to ask them “how much? I’m down.”

And then the food came. The waiter first presented us with the chef’s “amuse bouche”.  Now, when you picture a nice amusee, it’s supposed to titillate and refresh all your taste buds.  The chef at 14 West, however, thinks an amusee should resemble the loaded potato-skins from Chili’s. Our amusee consisted of fried polenta (potato) with ranch dressing, sprinkled with chopped scallions.   Chubby could’ve thought of something better.

I won’t go into it much further, like details of our undercooked potatoes and over-seasoned steak, because again, I’m a lover.  The evening was completely made up for by good company.  To all my readers, and I’m serious when I’m say this to all six of you:  I’d rather you choose PF Chang’s over 14 West any day.

Advertisements